Men’s Therapy
With Dr. Trevor Alleman
Therapy with me isn’t about talking in circles.
It’s about understanding what’s driving your reactions so you can stop repeating the same patterns that hurt your relationships and start becoming a steady, confident man.
Is stress, anxiety, and or/pressure getting to you?
Are you facing a major life change and asking what comes next?
Have you tried to work on yourself before, including through therapy, but still haven’t found the relief or clarity you’re looking for?
Many men come to me stuck replaying unhealthy patterns or blaming themselves for how things went. Others struggle with stress, emotional numbness, or uncertainty about the future. Work, fatherhood, divorce, and changing priorities raise questions about identity and what makes life meaningful.
If you’ve spent time trying to think everything through on your own, therapy with me can help you look beneath the surface and decide what to do next.
Clients Come to Me When
Clients come to therapy with different concerns, but many are looking for clarity, better relationships, or a way forward. We work on challenges like:
Feeling stuck or in a rut
Relationship struggles
Low confidence
Stress or anxiety at work or home
Uncertainty about the future
Emotional numbness
Fatherhood challenges
Divorce or separation
Therapy With Me
We’ll look beneath the surface: your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs, along with the patterns that shape your reactions and decisions. Together, we’ll identify the hidden triggers keeping you in a state of reactivity.
This work is about building an identity beyond being a provider, deepening relationships with loved ones, and identifying coping mechanisms that aren’t helping.
I’ll challenge you when needed, and hold you accountable in a non-shaming way.
Our work will have a direction, with clear goals that connect to what you want from life.
Approaches I Use
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ACT helps you clarify what matters to you and make choices that align with your values, even when difficult thoughts and emotions show up. This supports a stronger sense of direction and purpose.
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CBT helps you recognize how thoughts influence emotions and actions. It supports practical changes in the patterns that keep you stuck.
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This approach explores how past relationships shape the way you connect with others today. It helps you understand relationship patterns and work toward more secure connections.
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Somatic work helps you pay attention to your body’s signals and emotional responses. It supports greater awareness of what’s happening beneath conscious thought.
You’re More Than
An Issue or Your Role
Being a provider, partner, or father can be an important part of your identity, but it doesn’t have to be the whole thing. Therapy gives us a chance to examine what matters to you, understand the patterns that hold you back, and make choices that fit the life you need.
Therapy That Gets Results
Clients report changes that help them feel more connected to themselves and the people in their lives, including:
Easier time being open with others
Greater acceptance of the past
Clarity around values
More fulfilling relationships
Greater patience
More lighthearted
The goal is for you to be more connected to yourself and the people in your life, and move beyond understanding the problem toward living with greater connection and purpose.
“I'm here to help you understand how your mind works and what to do with that information. Together, we'll work toward clarity, direction, and better results in your life.”
About Dr. Trevor Alleman
Hi, I’m Dr. Trevor Alleman, PsyD, a licensed psychologist in Santa Barbara, California.
I’ve worked in mental health for nearly two decades and have spent 11 years as a private-practice psychotherapist. My clinical work is informed by years of study and training in Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy (ISTDP), which focused on emotional processing and the protective patterns beneath our thoughts, reactions, and relationships.
My approach is direct and honest. I’m not interested in talking in circles or focusing on feelings without connecting them to what is happening in your life. I want to understand what matters to you, what has been getting in the way, and what needs to change.
I also know personal growth isn't just an intellectual exercise.
I’ve worked through painful life transitions and losses of my own, and I’ve spent time learning to get out of my head and pay attention to what my body and intuition are telling me. That experience has shaped my respect for the work it takes to understand yourself and make choices that fit who you want to be.
I was born and raised in Pasadena and now live in Santa Barbara with my wife, our two boys, and our husky mix, Pepper. When I’m not working, I enjoy surfing, playing pickleball and drums, and seeing live music.
Availability: I provide in-person therapy in Santa Barbara, and virtual therapy via telehealth for clients across California.
Education, Credentials, and Trainings
Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) from Fuller School of Psychology
Licensed Psychologist, California (PSY32530)
2 Year internship in psychoanalytic therapy from The Wright Institute
Postdoc at Westmont College Counseling Center
250-hour training in Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy (ISTDP)
Advanced Level certification in Mentalization-Based Therapy
3 Steps to Get Started
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Reach out and tell me what you’re working through and what you’d like to change.
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We’ll talk about your goals, what you’re looking for in therapy, and whether working together makes sense.
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We’ll identify the concerns that matter most to you and build a focused plan for our work.